All for love

Where yesterday was a triumph to have AS, today was a challenge. My brother had a cookout, and of course there were family members and non family members there. For me, the aspie characteristic that is most prominent is social awkwardness due to having social anxiety/social phobia. I had to go because I miss my family terribly, I live quite a few miles away, but my brother lives close to our family, hence the cookout at his house. I am quite proud of myself actually, because I went on my own, the love of my life (and my social "beard") had to work today. However, even though I braved my social phobia to be with my family, I stimmed A LOT, the whole time, and some people stared. I rocked/swayed, bounced my knee, picked at my fingernails and picked holes into the plastic table cloths. When someone spoke to me, I had the worst time keeping eye contact, and I stammered when I spoke. However, it was all worth it to see and hug my family, all of whom I love greatly.