Mini Meltdown

Had a mini meltdown today. I had my first car accident on Saturday (no big deal and no injuries to myself or the other person). I handled all the paperwork, making the insurance claim, dealt with the auto repair mechanic very well. It was on my way home with my boyfriend that I started to lose my shit. I started to freak out over an obsessive thought that started on Saturday night, about how I did not want to tell my family members, friends or co workers about how the accident happened because I did not want to deal with self righteous judgments about what I should or should not have said to the police officer at the accident. 

Having a car accident is disconcerting enough, having Asperger's just compounds the ordeal. I would be more apt to talk about what happened, but I know the people well enough in my life to know that they will give me their unsolicited opinion on what I should or should not have said or done. I know this, because they do it to me all the time. It's like, oh goodie so not only is your advise a waste of time after the fact, and you don't care about the reasons why I said what I said at MY car accident, but you've made me feel stupid as well. You think that much about yourself and that little of me. 

The short lived meltdown came and went. I just feel bad that I can't trust the people closest to me to be encouraging, they've just disparaged me one too many times...

Another uh-duh! aspie moment

Two coworkers were teasing each other about what days they could park in the spot closest to the building. One of them said, "Okay, I'll take all the days that end in "y""...I actually had to stop and think about this. Well, my aspie mind took her comment seriously and I asserted to tell her "but, all the days end in "y""...yup that got some good laughs.

Bellflower

I'm not sure if it's a "special interest" interest or not, but I have a thing for violent movies. The more testosterone jam packed into a movie, the better. Bellflower is not exception! This movie directed by Evan Glodell was wicked an unique. The soundtrack was amazing! There was love, romance, a bad ass muscle car, fire, and violent bloody revenge. What's not to love...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbCMk9nPRHg

Film Scores

A significant characteristic of someone with Asperger's Syndrome is to have all absorbing narrow areas of interest, a.k.a. special interests. One of my special interests are movies, and film scores. I could watch the worse movie ever made, but an awesome score can save the movie.
Superman Returns is far from being the worse movie ever made, I love this movie! John Williams composed the music to the original Superman movie, and John Ottman did William's composition justice with his score to Superman Returns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL9iNj7sLmE

Sensory Checklist

I have way too many checks on this list. http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

Outside looking In

Social phobia woes...I'm afraid to meet new people because I am convinced that they would not like me...I am weird, awkward, self conscious and insecure (now I know I have Asperger's)...but my phobia in not irrational completely...growing up my peers bullied and ostracized me...it's funny, even though I've been treated cruelly and am twice shy as a result, I don't feel apathy toward others. Being on the outside looking in, knowing what it's like to be judged, can give one perspective...

Body/spatial awareness challenged

...yup, I walk into doors. My forearms are speckled with bruises from door knobs. Hips are bruised from bumping into the corner of counters or desks. Smashed my head a few times on the freezer door handle when I came up from looking in the fridge. I also often hit my head going in and out of a car. However stairs are my biggest downfall, especially the last step...I also wobble, sway and/or weave as well as suddenly lose my balance when I walk... The evil little demon Dyspraxia is the reason for my partial loss of coordination...